My friends got married a little bit ago. I am thrilled for them, first of all. Marriage is so great. They even asked me to be in their wedding 😮 OBVIOUSLY I said, “Yes.”
All was going well. The whole day. The whole night. There was perhaps but one little blip on the radar. Could have been easily missed. In fact, it was. No one saw me. Well, no one except the five year old.
In my defense, and her’s, she could seriously pass for at least a seven year old in intellect, though in stature she did quite resemble her age. I had bonded with her a bit throughout the day. Ya know, helped her collect glitter, complimented her dress, called her cool, the usual.
She was intent on asking me to join her dance crew. I felt it appropriate to get down to her level as a courtesy, so I crouched down in my dress.
I think it’s important to have a mental picture of what this dress was like. Honestly, it was a shnazzy number, wisteria in color, one shoulder strap, beautiful bodice-I mean-stunning bodice. Floor length with a good ol’ slit. This slit was useful and made movement significantly more natural. And by movement, I mostly just mean walking. Walking was literally so easy, I felt like I could conquer the whole wide world.
Okay, so anyway, I crouched down in my dress and got to eye level, listened to her request and agreed to join her dance crew. I’m just really not used to maneuvering in floor length dresses so I significantly underestimated the amount of fabric that had gathered underneath me as I crouched. I got all stuck in it and tumbled over, landing, ever-so-briefly, on all fours. I did the classic look-around to see how embarrassed I should be. I was quite pleased when I realized that no one had seen. I’m serious-no one. In that whole dang room of people.
No one except her. And the five year old intellectual stood there, calm, cool, and collected, held out her hand and nonchalantly said, “Do you… need help?”
She didn’t even laugh at me. Which I thought was really cool of her.
This is not a picture of me and the five year old. I was too embarrassed to ask her for a picture. But here’s my stunning married friend and a super unhelpful visual of my dress.
Schraaawkward 