I got this book at the library, and I’d been itching to read it. I felt that desire with a sense of urgency. I dropped someone off in Appleton and didn’t want to wait until I got home to cozy up on my couch, so I stopped off at this coffee shop that closed in an hour. I parked a half a mile away because I wanted to enjoy the crisp air and also because there was not one spot available nearer than that.
A man was outside with his dog and it sort of sounded like he said hi as I walked by but I couldn’t tell for sure, so I didn’t say anything. Looking back, I wish I would have played it safe and said hi because that would not have been weird.
I tripped on the rug on my way in. I made intentional eye contact with the man sitting right by the door as I stumbled so that he knew I wasn’t ashamed. Not one bit.
I asked the man taking my order if I could get some food. I felt really hungry and I had in my head that I’d order a salad because they put mushrooms in their salads and I never buy mushrooms because I never use them fast enough and then they get slimy and I can’t deal with that. (I’m letting that run-on sentence slide because life’s too short.)
He let me know that the kitchen had closed at 6. I had the option of a $16 charcuterie board or some baked goods. It wouldn’t have felt right to partake of a charcuterie board alone, so I opted for a baked good. I got a donut because the scones looked crumbly, and I just really like donuts, okay? I also feel like I made a little bit too big of a deal about not actually wanting the donut but feeling really hungry and settling. I mean, I was kind, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t think he cared if I actually wanted the donut or not. A classic misread of one’s audience. It happens.
I put my headphones in because I get easily distracted and all I could concentrate on was these two ladies talking about their dogs. I began to read. I think it’s fair to say that I figuratively entered my own little world. I became enamored with the dang book. It had captivated me with its wit and clever use of literary devices. I laughed a lot, out loud, which felt really freeing and fun.
Shortly before I decided to pack up, I noticed this guy come in wrapped in a blanket. I didn’t think twice about that because it was indeed very cold outside, and I’m all about taking precautions when it comes to staying warm. He sank down in the couch across from where I sat and put the blanket over his head. It wasn’t a big blanket so it legitimately was just covering his head. I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye and wondered how long he’d keep at it, secretly hoping that, for my entertainment purposes, he’d draw it out several minutes at least. I even decided I’d maintain eye contact with him as he pulled the blanket away from his face. I figured he’d want to know that someone had noticed. When push came to shove, however, I looked away instinctively as he pulled the blanket off of his face. I thought, that was kind of a strange thing to do. But I’m a big fan of people doing weird things in public, so it doesn’t even matter.
I would tell you about how I tripped again on my way out or how I forgot where I parked my car or how the man with the dog was still outside and I finally said hi to him except that he didn’t hear me, but none of those things happened and I’m really into this book, so I gotta go.
Schraaawkward 